Does Everything Really Happen For A Reason?

Oct 29

I absolutely DESPISE the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason…"

*I don’t mean to be religious, but this picture always puts things into perspective for me when I doubt or question my fate.*

I hate it with a passion. But I wondered why I'm so bitter towards this common phrase that everyone seems to smile while saying. I came to this conclusion: I cringe at this phrase when something terrible or inconvenient happens, but allow the phrase to apply to my life once something bittersweet happens. Shocking...I welcome this conclusion when it's convenient.

I look back on my battle with mental health and addiction and all the fucked up bells and whistles it accompanied. Four times away in rehab before Cal was one, the deep, dark hole of depression and hopelessness, and losing our first child-- Toast, our Frenchie, after a brutal month and $15,000 in the ICU.

So, rolling my eyes while forcing myself to find positives from these shit-uations, here they are:

Four times in rehab before Cal was one— he doesn't remember mommy being a drunk or being gone.
Depression— I realize I had to go through this as part of the full-blown shitstorm of alcoholism to achieve the bliss of sobriety.
Losing Toast—As beyond painful as this was, it resulted in Frank, our second Frenchie, coming into our lives. He's the main character in a children's book series that I wrote called Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda.

Do you know what I mean here? Surely, I can't be the only one who feels bitter about "Everything happens for a reason" when going through despair. As members of society, we commonly place blame on factors that are out of our control. Fuck this, fuck that, HOW is there any positive in this? At least, this is what goes through my head. Understanding this phrase requires patience, of which I have absolutely zero. Work in progress, folks.

What are your thoughts on this very annoying, commonly used phrase? XO