Disciplinary Differences

It wasn’t until my husband and I became parents that I truly grasped how differently we were raised.

I was blessed with the most loving mother. I tend to ramble, so I'll just hop to the point: she babied the living shit out of me. If she could have, Diane would’ve wrapped me and my sister in bubble wrap. Now, watching my two-year-old, I can’t say I blame her.

She's what my husband calls "soft. In my 20s, I started feeling angry for the overwhelming love and protection she shielded me. Mostly because I was taken advantage of time after time and walked all over. My sister certainly got the assertive backbone that I lacked, which created quite a divide between us—we were polar opposites. Yet, I envied her ability to brush off others' opinions and stand up for herself when necessary. But I digress; I'll get to the point.

My husband's mother is an extremely hard worker, insanely generous, and rough around the edges in a charming, admirable way. She had a tough upbringing, as well as Brandon's father.

They were both disciplined pretty intensely and left to fend for themselves often. A very "you'll get over it" type of mentality.

If you don't eat your dinner, you go to bed hungry. If you mouth off, the good old-fashioned method (which would likely now probably result in a visit from family & child services, noted as abuse), soap in the mouth.

When I tell my mother about my husband's upbringing and how disciplined he was, she'll gasp at the horrifying thought of putting soap in your child's mouth— I have to back her on this one. I literally don't think I could do that to my baby. When Cal, our two-year-old, throws a dramatic tantrum, my husband will gently grab his arm and yell, “Cut it out.” It’s enough to scare him, and he gives me the saddest look before bursting into tears, seeking comfort from Mommy.This is the queue where my husband says, "Yep, I'm the bad guy. Someone has to do it." Or he won't eat his dinner, so my husband says, "Guess you're going to bed hungry." I'll say… B, he's TWO!? We are incredibly different in our disciplinary approach, and it all circles back to our individual upbringings.

I can only imagine that this topic does not reside only in our homes. That said, please chime in.